So… I like Austin and Ally, and I even, to an extent like High School Musical. So surely one that combines the two would be something I really enjoy, right?
Starstruck was released in 2010 and was one of the most popular February Releases for the Disney Channel. It was also the first Disney Channel Original Movie from the 2010s Did they start on a high note? Let’s take a look and see why my answer is no
Starstruck follows the story of Jessica Olsen (Danielle
Campbell), who gets roped into her sister Sara’s (Maggie Castle) quest to meet
teen pop sensation Christopher Wilde (Sterling Knight) through a happy accident
or three, it’s actually Jessica who ends up meeting him and the two… they
bicker, nearly constantly. Can a romance be formed?
Unfortunately, there’s a lot I don’t like about this film, but…
the film is in colour, the camera is pointed in the right direction, there’s
some nice varied scenery and I like that Sara stands by her sister at the end…
Yeah, I think that’s it for compliments.
In case that didn’t make it clear, I found this one a struggle to get through. The story has its issues but it’s not the biggest problem, the biggest problem is the dialogue which is absolutely atrocious and until maybe the final few minutes no-one exemplifies this problem more than Sara. It’s like they took bunch of obsessive fan mail and created a character who talks like that.
There isn’t a scene in the first 2 acts that’s she’s in
where I don’t find her insufferably irritating and I get it, we’re supposed to,
to an extent, as it’s used to justify Jessica’s position but it makes the scene
at the end where she is written like a human being seem like a complete
character 180 and she does not get character development. Not helping is that
speaking all these lines is an actor who is clearly in her late 20's. Hearing
her complain about being too young to drive a hire car early on is hilarious.
She’s not the only one with insufferably bad dialogue, but
let’s move onto Jessica who is one of those strong women stereotypes that
confuses being rude, confrontational and defensive with being strong. The
problem is she has no likeable traits, she’s not compassionate, smart, kind or
endearing in any way really. She also has her moments when it comes to acting,
their second act breakup is pretty bad.
Then of course we come to Christopher Wilde. He’s not
insufferable but he is an idiot. Early on the idea that someone didn’t like his
music takes a while to even register with him. His plot-line in the story is
that he needs to stay out of the limelight to get a part in a film, when he’s
already a world-famous pop sensation. Part of it is push from his parents, who
are also his managers but this angle is not really explored that well. Also,
the idea that a celebrity can simply avoid paparazzi is farcical. The press are
vultures, and that’s widely known in both the music and film industries.
It's a springboard for a lot of the plot developments in
this film. Chris taking Jessica to his house rather than straight home. Them
needing to go on a road trip and turn off the road, the big second act breakup
and his idiotic choice to make things worse. None of these choices make him all
the endearing either and it’s difficult with all that to be invested in their
relationship. Especially since they spend most of their time together bickering
and all of maybe 5 minutes developing a serious relationship.
And then I guess we need to talk about the music. Neither of
the two main characters sing most of the songs in the film and I feel that in
itself is a major misstep. Sterling Knight has said the reason he didn’t sing
in this film is because he was a last-minute addition, with most of the songs
recorded by Drew Ryan Scott. Personally, I don’t see why this should matter,
the songs aren’t recorded live, they’re added in post-production. They could’ve
got him to sing them in a recording booth, like they did for the one and best
song of the film, Starstruck. It’s not a Zac Efron situation where the songs
were written in the wrong tenor, I can envision him doing it. It makes his
apology song at the end feel rather false.
And whilst I’m talking about the music, one of the facets of
the near constant bickering is that Christopher doesn’t understand how
privileged he is, and no-where is that more apparent than in some of these
songs.
There are a lot of characters who don’t serve any real
purpose. You could cut out the grandparents, the parents (both Jessica and
Christopher’s really) and Alexis and almost nothing of value would be lost.
This film is only 81 minutes long but it feels like it runs
for an eternity, it fails to build up an endearing relationship with less than
likeable characters and awful dialogue, though largely because the couple spend
less than 5 minutes actually getting to know each other and the rest of the
time bickering before the obligatory second-act breakup. The songs are mostly
average, though the fact that Sterling Knight isn’t the one singing most of
them robs the emotional impact of several moments in the film, and the ending
in particular.
Rating 30/100
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