Sunday, March 14, 2021

Netflix Month 2 - The Umbrella Academy Season 1 Episodes 3-4


It’s Netflix Month 2 and I’m annoyed, not because this show is bad, even the last episode of Titans was decent, but I’ve just reviewed these 2 episodes, then I forgot to save before I put my computer to sleep and it restarted to install bios. I hope this doesn’t come across in my re-written reviews but if I sound a little jaded this time around, that’s why.

Extra Ordinary

We open with a flashback to 5 years ago, with Vanya being drawn to a violin and seeing comics of her siblings in the window. She decides to write a book, telling her perspective on the family and how she never really felt a part of it. We see Luther reading it doing press-ups, Allison reading it doing makeup, Diego attaching it to his punching bag, Klaus reading it in the clinic, with Ben reading over his shoulder, and 5 reading it in the ruins with Dolores behind him. And we see that Reginald at least read the first page of the book before snapping it shut and putting it back on the bookshelf.

The book doesn’t sell extra-ordinarily well, just enough to get her by as the crowds see reads to get smaller and the book goes on sale. In the present, Vanya arrives late to recital, the conductor dismisses her apologies, saying he hadn’t noticed. Which given the disruption of her arrival could be interpreted in a number of different ways.

With Luther and Claudia, they’re watching a video of Grace, the mother android, giving Reginald a cup of tea right as he’s dying. They think something is amiss and question whether Grace is even capable of doing anything to him. They try and ask her but she doesn’t seem to have anything to say. At least it seems when she’s about to tell them something she glitches out.

Diego and Detective Patch are investigating the shootout from the last episode, the bullets used are the same ones she found before, ones that haven’t been manufactured since the 1960s. These guys have time travel tech, could they not advance their weaponry, they had lasers in the comic, just saying.

After rehearsal, Vanya meets the person in the no. 1 chair in the group, Helen. She congratulates her on her rehearsal but Helen shows her superiority complex and makes Vanya feel small, something that’s basically a major element of this series.

Cha Cha fixes her injuries, as she and Hazel get another message from Head office. Their delays in getting the job done has resulted in their pay being cut, with further cuts resulting from further delays, way to encourage results there. Five didn’t get out unscathed either and has to stitch his own wounds. He sneaks out of the house, finding Klaus sifting through the dumpster trying to find ‘priceless’ artefacts from the box he stole.

Klaus asks to tag along but Five isn’t interested. He’s using a plumbing van to stake out the Doctor and Meritech in general. He’s still looking out for the eye. Luther and Allison argue about Grace and the talk soon devolves into what happened with Allison. She and her husband had a major argument after he found out she was using her powers on her.

It started when she was young and having ‘epic meltdowns’ and she used her powers to calm her down. It seemed like nothing at first but I presume it evolved into something else. Now she has to take court-mandated therapy sessions before she can get visitation.

Vanya visits Imperial Woodwares, the place Leonard works at/owns. He sells and restores old antiques but is also partial to creating his own sculptures. Including one he’s made of Vanya which isn’t creepy in the slightest. I mean he’s known her for one day.

He invites her out for dinner but the conversation is interrupted as Allison arrives to invite her to a family meeting to discuss grace. He just walks off because it’s not like he has a shop to run or anything. Allison apologises about yesterday.

Five continues his stakeout as he flashes back to first seeing the ruins of… somewhere, it’s interrupted as Klaus and Luther arrive to invite him to the family meeting. He declines and we see Five’s superiority complex in full view. So who drew the short straw and had to get Diego?

Hazel is enjoying some donuts at the Donut Shop, conversing with Agnes about her life. He manages to butter up Agnes nicely for their interrogation, they ask about Five and she reveals that he had an umbrella Tattoo on his hand, they claim they were hired privately to investigate the attack.

The family have gathered, minus Five and are shown the footage. Diego dismissed it, there’s no chance he could have been poisoned or it would’ve shown up on the coroner’s report. All they see is that she took the monocle, most likely to clean it, explaining why he didn’t have it on him when he died. Diego reveals he took the monocle to stop Luther finding it with her and going ballistic, Luther is probably the most balanced of the group, I don’t see that being a problem.

But that does bring us to another problem. Vanya reminds them that whilst may be a calm caretaker for the most part, her programming also allows her to intervene when someone’s life is in danger, recent events imply this part of her programming is gone, suggesting her hardware is degrading. Luther argues that if that’s the case, she should be turned off, and Allison agrees. Diego and Vanya argue against this and Klaus sides with them too, though mostly because he’s p*ssed off at Luther for being shut out when they went to get Five. He claims that Ben would agree with him, though we see that he doesn’t.

Pogo is watching and we have to wonder why he didn’t get involved in this discussion, he’s the one who’s been living with her. We flash back to some time ago, with Grace helping and encouraging each of them as they prepared for a mission. Diego has a talk with Grace in the present, trying to uncover whether Grace is her own person or a product of Reginald.

She’s unable to say a word against Reginald, despite rather unsubstantiated that she was treated worse than any of them. Five continues his stakeout, but with only 6 days left, it’s time to take more drastic measures. He eyes a doctor giving a duffel-bag full of something in exchange for an envelope full of cash.

Meanwhile Hazel and Cha-Cha arrive at the Academy. The door is locked but they came prepared for that and manage to break in. They see a portrait of Five on the all and know they’re in the right place. Klaus is listening to screaming voices in the bathtub. Unable to shut them out, he puts on a set of headphones.

Hazel and Cha-Cha get a good amount of exploration of the house before they are eventually discovered by Diego. The gunshots soon attract the attention of the others. Diego is pinned down as Grace is doing nothing to help. Luther and Allison manages to attack them, though it only grants them a short reprieve as gunshots force their retreat. Hazel loses his gun and gets a flail from within a cabinet in the house.

Vanya comes down to see what’s going on and is Hazel’s first target. Luther grabs his attention and the two fight. Klaus exits the bath but still listening to music is entirely oblivious to what’s going on. Allison manages to disarm Cha-Cha, but she’s continues to refuse to use her powers and needs Diego’s help to hold her off. She withdraws, suffering a knife wound in the process.

Hazel is proving a decent match for Luther and matching him blow for blow, until he ends up prevailing. He withdraws as Allison and Diego come to help Luther. Hazel drops a Chandelier on him before making her escape. Luther grows bigger and hairier and manages to lift the chandelier off himself. Diego sees that Hazel did absolutely nothing during the fight and was seemingly oblivious to it even happening at all, confirming Luther’s suspicions. Deciding to take action immediately, he cuts a knife into her arm and deactivates her.

In his Diego calls Vanya a liability that could’ve gotten any of them killed and advises that she should leave, advice that Allison regrettably agrees with. For reasons that aren’t exactly made clear, Vanya takes a taxi to Leonard’s house. “I didn’t know where else to go?” why not back to your own place.

Cha-Cha arrives home believing the day to be a total loss, but Hazel did manage to grab Klaus on his way out.

It’s an intense episode that exists to further deepen Vanya’s insecurities primarily. I can’t say I cared one way or the other about the fate of Grace though. The flashbacks help but don’t do enough for me.

Rating 7.5/10

Man on the Moon

We flash back to 7 years ago. Luther is the last of the team at the academy and is clearly feeling a bit lonely. But he is able to embrace some house freedoms, riding his bike around the house, drinking milk. He’s so lonely is trying to act like a child. He gets a mission alert from Pogo and goes to Reginald’s office.

Reginald gives him the mission, whilst rarely looking up and still referring to him as One, despite there being no others left. His mission was to keep some dangerous chemicals out of enemy hands, and whilst I presume, he was successful, it came at a heavy price. The only way to save his life is with an experimental serum, a serum with the side-effects that were demonstrated last episode. Funny how I’ve found another link between this and Titans. The Professor did the exact same thing.

Back in the Present, Allison shows Luther that Grace has been shut off, they presume by Hazel and Cha-Cha. Allison tries to get Luther to open up about everything and whilst he does explain what happens in as few words as possible, he refuses to open up emotionally.

Vanya wakes up in Leonard’s house, with rehearsal not long away. She’s out of her anxiety medication and isn’t going to have to time to stop of home and grab her refill. Leonard tells her to lay off it for one day. They discuss backstories on the way but since Leonard’s backstory will be important later, let’s keep that a mystery for now. He invites her for dinner again and without Allison to interrupt this time, she accepts.

Cha-Cha tries to torture Klaus but he kind of enjoys it. And in more ways than one, he barely knows anything and no-one will even notice he’s gone so a rescue is pretty much out. They try waterboarding him but he ends up drinking the water. Diego spent the night outside Detective Patch’s place and she’s worked out that the kid at the donut shop doesn’t belong to the Truck guy.

Diego confesses that his mother died last night and she eventually gets him to open up about the guys in masks coming to the house and attempting to kill his family. He hasn’t yet gotten to the bottom of why. Five has been missing since yesterday, apparently.

You know, hearing this, why didn’t she ask him to go on the record, or investigate the house, or anything, really? Allison goes to Vanya’s house and sees someone lurking inside, it’s Leonard. He claims that Vanya left her keys at his place, and he let himself in because he needed the toilet. She doesn’t really buy it and takes the keys off of him to deliver them to Vanya herself.

By the way, the two ways this could’ve worked out if that was his real reason for coming, either A: He delivers the keys to the room but the door’s still locked so she can’t get in. Or B: (Or assuming the apartment doesn’t have an internal mail slot) the door is unlocked and with the keys inside for several hours. Neither of these is ideal, is what I’m saying.

Five finds the Doctor and interrogates him again. He reveals he creates artificial limbs for fake patients, bills the insurance company somehow and then sells them on the black market. Eyeballs in particular are very popular and he has a waiting list for them, which may include the potential buyer of the eyeball Five is tracing.

Since the only copy of the list is at the lab, they decide to get going. Luther is looking for anything that may help him find Five, as Diego arrives to do the same thing. Unfortunately, it turns into a p*ssing match between them until Pogo can put a stop to it.

Back with Diego, he’s experiencing withdrawal as the drugs begin to wear off, he can see a Russian woman near the window, muttering. Cha-Cha suggests they check out Klaus’ artefacts to find a way to get to him. They begin finding and destroying his pills and eat a load of weed-chocolate. It is eventually enough to break him and tell them about the lab.

Now high as kites, Hazel and Cha-Cha begin dancing in the lab and dousing it in gasoline, with their masks off no less. The place seems really abandoned too, which seems strange to me. Diego and Klaus find Five’s van, and Diego manages to break in. Diego finds a book from a local library and suspects that’s where Five may be.

Hazel and Cha-Cha set the place ablaze and given that they’re still high, I’m amazed they make it out alive. Five arrives just as the building explodes and is surprisingly unharmed by the affair. Vanya finds Allison by the theatre and Allison tells her that Grace was deactivated during the fight. She returns Vanya’s keys and when asked about it, they two agree to talk over a drink.

Hazel and Cha-Cha somehow made it out of Meri-tech alive and are sobering up with coffee and donuts, the only way to sober up. Cha-Cha realises that Five is attempting to change the timeline, and by fulfilling their end of the contract, they’re going to indirectly end the world.

We see Klaus being locked in a crypt and forced to commune with the dead, Reginald’s attempt to make him overcome his fear of them. Ben is there to help him through his withdrawal. A maid begins vacuuming the room, because in their high state, Hazel and Cha-Cha forgot to put up the do not disturb sign. She’s unable to hear him because she’s listening to music. Ben berates Klaus for taking everything he has for granted.

Patch is on the scene at the meritech fire. In their high state, one of the ears from Cha-Cha’s mask fell off in the fire and is now with the police. She also notices that the two have written in a nearby van a message saying ‘your brother says hi’ and leaving an invitation to the motel. Klaus and Diego arrive at the library and find Five blind drunk and it’s here I have to call the timeline of events into question.

Klaus and Diego investigated the van and found the library clue before the hospital blew up. I know he can teleport but did Five seriously have the time to get Dolores, teleport himself into the library and get himself wasted, in the less than the time it took for Luther and Diego to walk there?

Vanya suspects that he is suspicious but Vanya calmly tells her to p*ss off. Turns out Luther and Allison had feelings for each other at one point. Hazel and Cha-Cha return to their house and after a brief scare with the room being cleaned. This time they’re showing their faces to Klaus as they use him as bait to lure 5 there. They turn out the light, and Klaus flashes back to Reginald checking in on Klaus having locked him in a crypt all day, and deciding to lock him in for 3 more hours.

Detective Patch checks on the motel, but the receptionist won’t help her without a warrant. Not wanting to wait, Patch makes a phone-call to the boxing gym, Klaus isn’t there but he leaves a message. Luther and Diego carry Five toward the gym. Ben works out that the Russian woman is one of Hazel and Patch’s victims. Ben encourages Klaus to talk to her.

Vanya and Allison enter Vanya’s apartment, finding a bunch of flowers left for her from Leonard. Though they don’t suspect anything’s missing, and Vanya invites him out for breakfast since dinner was a bust, again, it’s revealed he is throwing her medication. I feel like after a day without using it, it might be the first thing you look for but I’m not on consistent medication, so I wouldn’t know.

Klaus is getting a full account from a lot of Hazel and Cha-Cha’s victims. I’ll spare you the gory details. But one particular occasion drives a rift, between them as it’s revealed that Hazel let one of their victims go after killing the other. And it turns out he’s not the first time he’s done that. Cha-Cha responds by covering his mouth as Detective Patch decides that she can go up against 2 armed assailants alone. Well, she’s dead.

Klaus gets her attention by banging his head on the table and Patch gets the key from the cleaner. She releases Klaus’ binds but Hazel directs her attention whilst Cha-Cha shoots her from behind. Klaus sneaks out via the ventilation shaft, taking the briefcase with him.

Klaus is on the bus with the briefcase, showing more than he probably needs to. He opens the briefcase and disappears from the bus. Luther puts Five down, allowing him to sleep off his drunkenness. It’s then that Diego gets the message from Detective Patch. Diego rushes off but unfortunately is too late as Patch is long dead. He gets his DNA all over the crime scene as we hear sirens in the background. The police arrive and he eventually departs before the police can arrest him. Though he picks up a few bits of evidence to help later.

This is a dark episode where things start all going wrong for our heroes. That being said, it’s far easier to feel sorry about Patch’s death than it was about Grace’s, and we’re beginning to get a clearer picture when it comes to Leonard

Rating 8/10

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